This is my stop during the book blitz for Once Upon a Time Bitches by Branden LaNette. This book blitz is organized by Lola’s Blog Tours. The book blitz runs from 21 till 27 October. See the tour schedule here.

Once Upon a Time Bitches
By Branden LaNette
Genre: Non-Fiction/ Personal Development
Release Date: 9 October 2019

Blurb:
Hi, I’m Branden. That is me on the cover. Yes, I have a boy’s name, a Mom bod, and the tattoos are not photoshopped. Once upon a time I realized we all have a story, we all have a struggle and happiness is relative.
I am not cynical or hardened, I am just stating the facts. Here’s the deal:

Prince Charming doesn’t exist.
Fairy Godmother is drunk.
Glass slippers don’t come 2 day prime shipping from Amazon.

There is no magic fairytale, but if YOU work at it enough you can come pretty close creating your version with a happy ending. The best part is, in life you can continue to make edits until that sh*t reads exactly how you want it to.
You may not agree with everything I say in this book but the most important takeaway is that YOU have to be your own f*cking hero. No more damsel locked in a tower, bullsh*t.

That ends now. Join me as I take you through my 7 Magical Maxims for creating a fairytale life. (I know what you are thinking: Branden, no one gets a fairytale life.) Can you stop being so damn cynical for two seconds and just go with this? Good. Here they are:

#1 Realize that no one is coming to save you. You have to save yourself.
#2: Accept total responsibility for every damn aspect of your life.
#3: Stop comparing yourself to others and just f*cking be you.
#4: Dream dreams that are so big they make people doubt you.
#5: Your life is the sum of your choices.Choose well.
#6: Eliminate everything evil and negative from your kingdom.
#7: Love yourself so hard you have an abundance to share with others.

Is it possible to design a fairytale life? Control your destiny? Be the hero in your story? I believe you can and that’s why I wrote this book. I am going to make you a little uncomfortable. Back out now if you aren’t ready.

Sh*t is about to get real bitches…

You can find Once Upon a Time, Bitches on Goodreads

You can buy Once Upon a Time, Bitches here:
– Amazon ebook
– Amazon paperback
– Barnes & Noble

 

EXCERPTS

One of the biggest choices you will ever make is in the area of forgiveness. When it comes to the hurt and anger and rage you’ve been carrying inside you about any wrong you have suffered, you must find a way to forgive the person who f-ed you over. 

The years I spent wondering about the decisions my mom made, never being able to relate or fully understand and never getting an explanation or any form of closure was killing me. The only answer was to forgive her, especially since no apology or explanation was on the horizon.

So I’ve forgiven her.

Please notice I didn’t say forgive and forget. I’ll never be able to forget some of the f-ed-up sh*t people have done to me—but I’ve forgiven them. You must forgive the people who have hurt you too, every last f-ing one of them. 

Fully. Entirely. Even though you’ll never forget what they did to you. 

You are never more powerful than that moment you choose to forgive someone who has done you wrong and never apologized for it. Of all the bags of fucks I have thrown away, the one filled with anger over having been done wrong, this was the hardest one to toss. 

I’ve got other things to do with my time, like take care of my prince and my little angels. And write my book. And build my coaching business. I had their poisonous bullsh*t forced down my throat once already, I’m not about to drink it again.

Now, don’t just nod your head, bitch. Don’t blow this off. Try it. Like right now.

I’ll wait.

 

***************************************

 

I heard someone say that “holding onto anger is like drinking poison and hoping the other person will die.” Or maybe it was resentment. Or was it holding onto grudges? Anyway, you get the point.

Buddha said, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of harming another. It’s you who ends up getting burned.” Score one for Buddha.

When you hold on to any of the sh*t people have done to you, you only end up hurting yourself. You’ve got to let it go, bitches. Let it go…Let it go…Let it go… (I think I hear Idina Menzel singing in the background, damn it.) 

Seriously, bitches. By holding on to the pain, you are only hurting yourself. Let go of that sh*t. Drop the hot coal. Pour out the poison.

But, Branden, I don’t have any big, earthshattering trauma in my past to let go of, just the normal sht everyone goes through. You know, stuff like my parents wouldn’t let me get a dog. I don’t care. No matter how small the hurt, if you remember it 18 years later, you’ve got to Idina Menzel that sht.   

Remember earlier when I said nature abhors a vacuum? How is the universe supposed to deliver you a sack of joy when there’s no place to put it because there’s no room for it? 

Empty that sh*t out.

Create a vacuum—a space for the universe to put the joy.

Let it go. 

 

About the Author:
Branden LaNette doesn’t look like a typical author but she has long ignored what she “should” do, say and look like. On her own at a very young age, Branden eventually found herself with the wrong guy, the wrong job, and a bleak future. The fairytale she was promised as a child never materialized.

Finally, Branden decided that she wanted something different for her life, and realized no one was going to do it for her. Prince charming wasn’t coming to save her—she’d have to save herself.

Step by step, decision by decision, through major trials and tribulations that would stop most people in their tracks, Branden learned how to turn heartbreak into happiness and self-judgement into inner joy.

Today, Branden LaNette is an entrepreneur, coach, speaker, wife, and stay-at-home Mom to six C-section babies (ages 1-16) and way too many f-ing pets. Somehow, however, she manages to juggle all of this effortlessly (a blatant lie) while pushing her way through the kinds of fear and self-doubts that whisper within all of us (totally true) to achieve her goals. Her most recent dream come true is this book, one that is destined to have a major impact on millions of women across the globe (or at least nine people in Michigan.)

Through it all, she has found her happiness, her joy, and more importantly, her voice.

You can find and contact Branden LaNette here:
– Website
– Facebook profile
– Facebook page
– Twitter
– Instagram