Q: What is something unique/quirky about you?
A: I’m a political libertarian who doesn’t smoke or do drugs. I will only drink alcohol if it comes with a little umbrella in the glass. Also, I am looking forward to the day when I am old enough to scream at kids to get off my lawn with the sort of curmudgeon credibility that only comes with an AARP card.
Q: What can we expect from you in the future?
A: My next project is Romans Vs. Zombies. Most people don’t know that the ancient Romans once invaded Denmark. This was back in the days before the Roman Senate used Ginsu products to express their displeasure with Caesar. My next book builds on the factual events of the Roman incursion into Scandinavia and introduces the ancient world’s finest military force to draugrs, mythology’s first zombies.
Q: If you knew you’d die tomorrow, how would you spend your last day?
A: Screwing around with models. Not the kind with silicone in their chests, but the type that require glue and meticulous airbrushing. Of course, that could be the other kind as well, but not in this case. I have a backlog of models I haven’t had time to build yet. If I knew I was going to die, I would have to finish one or two, if for no other reason to satisfy my OCD leanings.
Q: Who is your hero and why?
A: I’m not sure I have a hero. Whoever performs Hafthor Bjornsson’s prostate exam would probably have to make the list. This is based on nothing more than his heroic lack of self-preservation instincts. But I can’t think of one person who stands out as a hero. There is more of a particular trait in some people that I find extremely heroic. I hate to quote a cartoon, but in MegaMind there is the line “The Megamind I know would never run from a fight even if he knew he had no chance of winning! It was your best quality.” It’s a rather silly example (especially considering that MegaMind is voiced by Will Ferrell) but the Spartans of Thermopylae, the British at the Battle of Rorke’s Drift, Stephen in front of the Sanhedrin, and The Scottish under Robert the Bruce at the Battle of Bannockburn. They all exhibited this quality. I find it to be admirable.
Q: What book do you think everyone should read?
A: This is obviously a subjective question and I’m sure depending upon who is asked the answers will range from books about Traveling Pants and Horse Whisperers to novels about sad old fishermen. Personally, I think The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams is a book everyone should read. Its smart, funny, and has characters that you get immediately attached to. In fact, the entire series qualifies as a “must read”. With the exception of the very last book. After Douglas Adams passed away, his publisher tried to squeeze one last nickel out of the franchise. The last book was written by someone who was “almost, but not quite, entirely unlike” Mr. Adams. Those of us who read that last book (I think there were three of us) will only be able to get the memory of that novel out of our heads with a shotgun.
Q: What kind of world ruler would you be?
A: A terrible one. I would fall into the category of Frisky Despot. I’m not quite sure if the blood of the martyrs would be running through the streets, but I would have a chariot pulled by several hundred of those creepy hairless cats. I would also replace President’s Day with a Stan Lee Day and have David Hasselhoff declared Burgermeister Meisterburger of the Western Hemispere.